The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize