Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
