Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
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My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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