Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
