i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
