Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
