I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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