they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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