well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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