i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
