whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
