The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
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I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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