We're like a lot better than the average bears
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we made out on top of his cat.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
