Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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