How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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