I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
