So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
it's great music for shaving your balls
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
