the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I got inside last night via doggy door
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
