I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
