I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
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FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
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My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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