would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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