is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
