ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
