So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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