Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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