I got her a Nickelback box set.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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