never play flip cup with pint glasses
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
