we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
