I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
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would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
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