So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
