I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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