Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
