oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
