A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
