eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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