i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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