i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
