Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
