His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
