everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
