I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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