I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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