she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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