The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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