I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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