i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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