you guys were way drunker than both of me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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