I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
