Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
