She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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