Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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