I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
