haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He did a backflip because drugs
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