Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
