It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
