Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am in a vortex of obligation.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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