that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
