my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
